How We Elect: Real and Cruel
/By Don Varyu
Apr 2026
eal and Cruel 4-7
Americans choose their leaders with one characteristic in mind—well, maybe back of mind. It has nothing to do with policies, resumes, or campaign ads.
Both parties would be wise to keep this characteristic front of mind in the run-up to 2028.
RUE
Barack Obama and Donald Trump do not like each other. They are not at all like each other. They are so dissimilar that loyal fans of either would never consider voting for the other.
And yet, the American electorate chose each of them—twice—to lead the country. What gives? The truth is that they mirror each other in one specific way that resonates most with voters.
To explain, let me give a little background. Several decades ago I wrote a booklet that was sent as a “think piece” to every client of our global communications firm. It was called, “The Next Fifty Years.” It sounds pretentious—and it probably was. In hindsight, much of what it predicted today seems pretty obvious (e.g., multiculturalism, the rise of global brands, the impact of aging populations).
However, the conclusion of the booklet began with a different thought:
“We’re at the dawn of an era where people want authentic stories about authentic people.”
Authenticity is the below-the-surface element that helps make presidents—as well as trusted leaders in any organization. But where does this come from? How do you develop it?
In 1959, author Irving Goffman coined the terms “front stage” and “backstage” to describe something we all realize in ourselves. We all act and talk differently depending on circumstance. For example, we would present ourselves differently when first meeting our spouse’s family…than we would talking about that meeting later with our best friend.
Without really thinking, we all do a version of “front stage” and “backstage.” It’s natural. But sometimes, people get the chance to see both sides…even if the private one was supposed to be secret. And here’s the result. People who seem pretty much the same “front stage” as they do “backstage” come across as authentic. Those who don’t are “two-faced”—and surrender authenticity.
And the truth is that both Trump and Obama gained popularity due to authenticity. As distinct as they were as personalities, people judged them to be the same onstage and off.
Detractors may have viewed Obama as empathetic, but also diffident, too cerebral and a little too cool for school. But in every unscripted moment on the campaign trail…as well as every major rally or appearance…he was the same naturally calm guy. He seemed authentic.
Trump will always have foes because of his bombast, his brinksmanship and his b.s. But it hardly seems like an act. We imagine him exactly the same closeted with his closest advisors as he is at one of his rallies. Sure, he lies, cheats, steals and whines—but we know he does that with everyone. He is consistent: “front stage” and “backstage” are identical. We know what we’re dealing with. He seems authentic.
If you doubt the power of this, let me throw one more former presidential contender into the mix.
On the day of the 2016 election, exit pollsters asked Trump voters, “if not Trump, who would your second choice have been?” The clear winner was not another Republican—it was Bernie Sanders. He and Trump could not be further apart on economic policy or politics. But those Trump voters could imagine Sanders snarling in the mirror brushing his teeth in the morning…just as he would on a rally stage that evening. He may have been a grouch; but they knew that was him—authentic.
Scholar Simon Sinek concludes, “Authenticity is not about being perfect. It is about being real.”
People have a nose for “real.” People can tell.
CRUEL
But sometimes, being “real” can also mean being a monster.
There’s a long line of words that describe these kinds of humans: “bully,” “blowhard,” “show off,” “braggart,” “pompous,” “know-it-all,” “faker”,--you get the picture. If you run across such people but they don’t really impact your life, you can brush them off as annoyances.
However, sometimes you can’t avoid the impact; say, for example, with a President. That person impacts the lives of 340 million other Americans. And also countless millions around the world.
Empathy goes missing. Division comes daily. And cruelty is not a byproduct; it’s the point.
Trump has urged rally attendees to “beat the crap” out of anyone who dares heckle him. He’s overseen the kidnapping of children and shipped them off to foreign lands. When Vietnam War hero Robert Mueller passed away, the draft dodger said, “I’m glad he’s dead.”
His inexplicable military strikes have left thousands dead in Iran and Venezuela, not to mention small handfuls of passengers in small boats literally blown out of the water by his guided missiles. So brave of him.
In all of his actions, Trump fails the essential test of leadership, as described by scholar Simon Sinek:
“The true price of leadership is the willingness to place the needs of others above your own.”
As a President—as a human—he has never once paid that price.
hoever runs as the GOP contender in 2028 seems more than likely to play back the Trump offense. But no successor can never replace him as quarterback. The stand-in will fall flat. That person will fail the test of authenticity. They will carefully read the sane script, but never match the performance.
But that hardly guarantee success for a Democrat. That party’s propensity for seeking a candidate that will please everyone…check all boxes…virtually prevents authenticity. The Democrats’ best hope is to find someone “real”, even if that means potentially offending significant groups within the party. The candidate must be seen as an honest broker.
At the same time, consider that 2028 will provide the most nourishing environment for an independent candidate in well over a century. Voters have had it with both parties. An independent can come from any background and hold diverse policy positions, as long as they propose uncomfortable solutions to tough problems. “Left-leaning” and “right-leaning” have diminished value.
The third party candidate will talk sacrifices as well as vision; identify the bad guys and vow to go after them.
The person willing to be most honest with the public is the favorite to become the next leader of that public.
The winner will be the most authentic.
Because people can always tell.
